I didn’t sleep so well last night. I had period pain, painkillers weren’t working that much, and I was afraid that Panka would get rid of her bandage. She was wearing a neck ruff but she managed to get out of it. Twice. But turns out she has (so far) no big interest into the bandage. Hope this will stay so until the wound isn’t fresh anymore.

We had the usual saturday morning. Panka was herself again, enjoyed her breakfast and walkies.

After breakfast, I went shopping, read a bit, had cake and off we drove to the Bergisches Land in the east of Cologne.

We met our probably new tabletop roleplaying group. We knew only one person loosely, but so far the humans seem to be very nice, all the dogs (our two and another) are distant and polite to each other and we seem to have the same wishes on how to run this group. To me it was very important that we play at daytime. I don’t like socialising in the evening since my energy is just running too low then (it’s a mystery to me how people can start socialising at 8pm…).
We also have a new date right at the beginning of april where we will start a pathfinder campaign. I’ll play a figher. An android, yay!


Didn’t do much today because I was in pain and nervously waiting for the call from the clinic. It came at around 4, Panka’s operation went without complications. The growth on her foot is gone, I hope everything will heal well. Panka is very tired and a bit drugged, but she is now sleeping in her bed. Tomorrow, everything will hopefully be forgotten. Poor baby.

I am furiously angry at myself. I have to cancel my trip next week to London. I wanted to celebrate with my friends their birthday. But Panka cannot go to doggy daycare with her wound. We have nobody who could look after her. I can get a refound on the flight and use it on another flight. But I won’t get the money back for the Abba Musical and probably I’ll never get to see this musical because of course my friends will go see it next week and probably won’t go a second time. This missed opportunity just makes me sad and angry at myself.

I don’t know why I planned this so stupid. My last longer vacation was in October. And now I was so tired that I made shitty plans and ruined my vacation. Well done. Currently I don’t want to touch or do anything out of fear of messing up.

(At least my friend stays in London for a bit longer and I can visit her another time. If I don’t mess up again something.)


Almost normal day. I was at the gym in the morning, a bit late, but I was lucky that it was empty anyway. This time I could finish all my upper body exercises that I had struggled with the last times. Maybe thanks to the huge and protein-rich pizza I had yesterday.

At work I am still waiting for this e-mail with information. I hate waiting and I know that some other people are also waiting for replys… there wasn’t much to do, this is the weeks of calm before the circle of doom starts again.

I played two games of Trails of Tucana today. It’s okayish but I am glad I didn’t buy that game.

I also could read a bit, watch an episode of the next season of White Lotus (hello Italy) and we watched the movie Moonrise Kingdom. I liked it but I also didn’t like it because of the child romance in it. This was very awkward.

Now off to bed. I am dreading tomorrow. Panka has a small operation, a growth on her foot will be removed. It’s nothing big and what makes me really sad is not giving her breakfast in the morning. I think there was a time in her life when she didn’t have enough food, so it breaks my heart to let her be hungry. She doesn’t understand that it is for her best, so that the growth doesn’t turn into something bad. Poor girl. I am glad when tomorrow everything is over and she is at home again.